Baby's, Dances and Confusion

 Well I am going to Be an Aunt! I am so excited for my older sister! I am mostly excited to be able to spoil the baby what ever it is. I kinda want it to be a boy, or maybe a girl because then we can dress it up in little tutus and dresses and stuff like that.I am excited for her besides the fact that some times she gets a little crazy and grouchy, but that is just the hormones.

Well this past Saturday, we went to a dance thing. The theme was hoedown. So my sister being creative decided to go as an Indian. So we went as a cow girl and Indian. Surprisingly she was the only one dressed as an Indian and seriously how attractive are we? We looked pretty dang good. It was a good night we meet some new people,danced with cute ones and learned a few new dances. Over all it is pretty fun

Confusion has taken over my life! There is just so much going on right now, I just do not know what I want or what I want to do. Some times having to grow up sucks! I hate trying to figure out what school I want to go to and when I want to start, and what is going to be best for me. I know where I want to go and what I want to study, but I can't go there till winter 2013, which is like a year, and I am not putting off school for year, that would be crazy! So I don't know if I want to stay here, or just go off and then transfer. 

        Then there is this guy, we are friends now, but things are getting complicated again with him. Things have happened and I have kinda learned, and know the type of guy he is, but I mean he is just so nice to me and we have some really great talks and some not so great ones. A month or so ago, a nice talk would turn in to a fight, then we went to just being friends and we did not talk much, but now we have started talking and texting again, but I am almost 99.99% sure I do not like him like that,but then sometimes I am not. I know nothing is going to happen, because I don't want to go back to the way things were and if something happened again then it would, but ugh sometimes I just don't know. I mean my heart and mind just don't have the same feelings anymore. They both conflict me. I know what my mind says is probably what is going to be the best thing, mostly because I think about what is going to happen, but sometimes the heart wants, what the heart wants. And that just sucks. But I am done with guys for now(well we will see how long that lasts). If you know me,like really know me then you know it is not going to be easy. I mean I am a flirt it is the easiest thing I know how to do. But I am going to try. Well enough about boys! Back to other stuff.

   Things have just been crazy...Or I am just going crazy. But things have just been confusing trying to figure out school and money and life is just life and it is confusing. Growing up is just confusing. I mean you actually have to figure out your own life and figure out what is best for yourself, and when you don't know what that is anymore it just sets in a whole new set of confusion.But I just have to trust that what is supposed to happen and what is going to happen is going to be the best thing for me, and eventually things will work themselves out and things will get better.