Wanting what we know we should not have......

Well a while ago I was seeing this guy...... Ya that one. Well a few weeks ago we started talking again, it was good for a few days, then he told me he had a girlfriend! I know how crazy right, he told me he did not want to date me cause he did not want a relationship, then he tells me this, well we talked kinda about it for a bit then we just started getting mad at each other so I stopped talking to him. Trust me he was lucky that I did not say the things I actually wanted to say to him cause the things I wanted to say were way worse then the things I actually said.

Well after that talk I just stopped talking to him and stopped being nice to him all together. I thought it was way easier, for awhile it was. Hating him made things easier for me, so that's what I did. This lasted a little bit, but then I started to notice that me hating him so much made me kinda more of a mean person and I did not like that so much, so I just went to ignoring him. Which also worked for a bit, till one night when we were playing volleyball. Well here is the thing normally when we played and I either hated him or was ignoring him I would play on the opposite team so I did not have to deal with him, anyways, Last week we were playing volleyball, and he came and played next to me and that did not make me happy. He tried to say hi to me, but I kinda just ignored it. Well I was talking to my sister Kaitlyn, and she told me that I should really try to be nice to him, so I gave that a try.

Well it turns out that being nice to him was way easier then those other things. It made me a lot happier and we  actually had a great conversation. He offered to take me and my sister home after we went to steak and shake, which was really fun. So anyways he took us home and him and I were talking about this guy that I am kinda seeing,but don't want to be seeing. So we talked about that, we talked about his girlfriend and we talked about us and some other stuff, well we ended up having a really good conversation and all we did was talk for like 3 hours.

Well now for the title of this blog, well when we were talking I kinda found out that he still likes me a bit and I kinda think those feelings might be there too, but I know I just want to be friends with him. Well I think. I know our relationship was not that great, but we had a lot of fun, so why is it that even though we know we don't want/ need it, we want it anyways? Is it just cause it is something familiar to us, or just because we had such a great connection? I don't really know, but what I do know is that he is actually a good guy, we have  fun together and he is so easy to talk to. But right now I just am not really sure what to do about the situation. I don't want to ruin our friendship, now that we actually have one. So I guess I will just see where this all goes and be smart about it.

Well life has been quite crazy lately.

Holy busy past couple of weeks. Pretty much all i have done is work, work and more work.  Thanks to one of my managers quieting, I know have the opportunity to be the store manager. I already know pretty much the whole store, and paper work so I am well on my way to being the manager. Work has just been crazy, I work all the time and make pretty good money. Hopefully getting a raise soon(keeping my fingers crossed).Oh and I am buying a car!

Well last week we went to Utah, it was a wonderful break from work and I had so much fun. We went and looked at some schools for my sister, hang out with my family, and got to see Cactus jack! For those of you who don't know cactus jack, he is an amazing singer and a great friend. That was pretty much all we did in Utah.

Well soon my big sister is going to pop! In a few weeks I will have a nephew. I am so excited for her and for there to be a new baby. There are just babies every where in my family, my brother's wife is pregnant and will be due sometime in March and My aunt Sarah is also pregnant and is also due sometime in march! So many baby's is so exciting.

School also is starting soon, I am kinda excited, but also kinda nervous. I have not been in school for almost a Year! And now I am starting College. Its all online though so it will be good, and I know if I need help my sister and brother in law  are also in the same class so it will be all good.

Oh also so these two boys, well one of them we decided that friends was going to be better, so we are now just good friends. The other guy on the other hand... Well we started going out a bit, and getting to know each other kinda, but I don't really know what it is, but I seriously just don't want to date him. I kinda just want to be friends. I have not really told him this yet, but I am not so sure how to tell him. But I know I need to do it soon so that I am not just leading him on.I know that would be the worst thing to do, so I am thinking I might tell him this week. I am hoping it all goes well.

So thats pretty much my life right now, work, baby's, boys and school. Pretty much just the typical life.